Oops, I FedExed Again!

FedEx SmartPost Logo - Grandma Delivers Packages with Tracking

Yes, FedEx again

I’m waiting on yet another delivery from FedEx, and this time it’s arriving via their SmartPost service.

And so I’m writing yet another tirade about their incomprehensibly incompetent approach to package delivery.

As far as I understand, their “Smart”Post service works like this: The merchant from whom I ordered gives the package to FedEx and pays them. FedEx then brings the package to a post office near to the recipient, and lets the good ol’ USPS handle the “last mile” of delivery.

I fail to understand the point of this service. I mean I get that it saves FedEx the cost of bringing a truck to my house because the mailman is stopping at my house anyway.

How-frukking-ever, it doesn’t actually make anything more efficient. The United States Postal Service already has the infrastructure in place to move my package over the long haul, so why not just let them do all the work?

This more “cost effective” (somehow) service simply introduces a second point of failure. Now instead of just worrying about FedEx screwing up my delivery, I have to worry about both FedEx and the United States Postal Service screwing up my delivery.

Not only that, but it’s far slower to make the delivery this way.

Here’s an example

FedEx SurePost - Example of why it's surely a bad idea

Do you see that? Eight days in transit with FedEx followed by “one or two additional days” for the USPS leg. That’s only 1200 miles, or a 19 hour drive according to Google.

But guess what: USPS would deliver the same package end-to-end in 4 days, assuming a ship day of Friday! And it would only cost $3.58 (via First-Class Mail Parcel). How much less could FedEx SmartPost possibly cost? I’d gladly have paid a dollar more for a 7 day reduction in delivery time!

And as usual, FedEx can’t even meet the expectations which they themselves set: “Transit Times typically 2 to 7 business days within the contiguous U.S., based on the final destination ZIP code“. What a joke.

And I had to look this up because I’m no expert on Minnesotian geography:

FedEx - Slower than a snail

That’s right, it took FedEx roughly 44 hours to move a tiny package 53 miles. That’s an average of 1.2 MPH.

Literally — literally — an old lady with a cart full of groceries could make a faster delivery.

For the love of all that’s holy, get your head out of your ass, FedEx.

About Scott

I'm a computer guy with a new house and a love of DIY projects. I like ranting, and long drives on your lawn. I don't post everything I do, but when I do, I post it here. Maybe.
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