What follows is a series of emails between myself and Rackspace, which is now one of my favorite companies.

Some information has been redacted to protect the good citizens of Gotham (and/or San Antonio).   Anything in italics is a note for the blog, and not part of the email chain.

From: “John XXXXXX, Rackspace” <john.XXXX@rackspace.com>
To: scott@scott
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2012 8:09:23 AM
Subject: Time to Protect Your “Hero” Server

Hi Scott,

The secret is out. We know the “Batman” server is your favorite. Know how we found out? He’s always at capacity and working up a sweat.

Give the poor guy a break!

With Cloud Load Balancers, you can add more servers & balance traffic across them to manage higher traffic loads.

If you’d like us to walk you through how to set it up, please click here and we will follow up.

Regards,

John XXXXXX
Rackspace Hosting

(I knew this was a marketing email, but I figured I’d respond anyway.)

From: “Scott” <scott@scott>
Date: Tuesday, November 13, 2012 5:07 PM
To: “john.XXXXX” <john.XXXXX@RACKSPACE.COM>
Subject: Re: Time to Protect Your “Hero” Server

What is this I don’t even..

But, sweaty Batman?

(I used Google Images to find a “sweaty batman”).

From: “Larry XXXX” <larry.XXXX@RACKSPACE.COM>
To: “Scott M. Rosenberg” <scott@scott>
Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:24:09 PM
Subject: Re: Time to Protect Your “Hero” Server

Dear Batman,

We regret to inform you that our Load Balancers will not solve your “problem.” However, may we suggest a different solution…

Where should we send your supplies? Please provide your address for immediate delivery – they might be needed for your next mission.

Regards,
Larry XXXX

From: “Scott” <scott@scott>
Date: Thursday, November 15, 2012 11:58 AM
To: Larry XXXX <larry.XXXX@rackspace.com>
Subject: Re: Time to Protect Your “Hero” Server

Larry,

Thanks for that!  Always glad to see a sense of humor out there.

In some degree of seriousness, you guys’ obsession with that message body is a little weird.  I got it 3 times in 3 days with different subjects (see below).  I am a RS customer and don’t mind getting product info on occasion, but…

Regards,

Scott

(I included a screenshot showing the 3 emails, but I’m omitting it because it’s super boring.)

From: Larry XXXX <larry.XXXX@RACKSPACE.COM>
Date: Thursday, November 15, 2012 11:15 AM
To: Erin XXXXX, Cameron XXXXXX, John XXXXXXX (Other Rackspace employees)
Subject: FW: Time to Protect Your “Hero” Server

Hey all,

Got the response from Scott XXXXX.  Not quite the answer I was expecting.  Wanted to check back with marketing on how to proceed.  Thanks!

From: “Nathan XXXXX” <nathan.XXXXX@RACKSPACE.COM>
To: scott@scott
Cc: “Larry XXXX” <larry.XXXX@RACKSPACE.COM>, “john.XXXXXXX” <john.XXXXXXX@RACKSPACE.COM>
Sent: Thursday, November 15, 2012 6:13:08 PM
Subject: Re: Time to Protect Your “Hero” Server

Scott:

Sorry we inundated your email, but thanks for making us aware of a HUGE issue that we have spent much of the afternoon correcting.   Would love to send you something besides deodorant in appreciation.   Shoot me your shirt size and address and I will take care of the rest…..   Thanks and sorry!

Sincerely,

Nathan

From: “Scott” <scott@scott>
To: “Nathan XXXXX” <nathan.XXXXX@RACKSPACE.COM>
Cc: Larry XXXX,  John XXXXXX
Sent: Thursday, November 15, 2012 6:24:58 PM
Subject: Re: Time to Protect Your “Hero” ServerHi Nathan, 

No worries.  I thought it might be an issue on your end;  Amongst a million other things I’ve coded and currently support is a template-based bulk email tool, so I know all too well that these things happen.

I’m never one to turn down a free shirt, though.  Preferably in XL.  (Sometimes I go XXL, but I figure you guys get enough support rants from bearded men wearing multi-X-sized shirts).

Address is:

(My address).

Regards,

Scott

Le End

I figured I’d get my T-shirt in 6-8 weeks with a big sigh and a yawn, but instead today a large package arrived:

I’d mistakenly assumed that the pictures they’d sent me of deodorant were just randomness found on The Internet, but apparently they were very specific to the subject at hand.   Now at least the Mrs. and I won’t have a need to shop for deodorant anytime soon.  Plus I have my Halloween costume all lined up for next year.

Thanks Rackspace!